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#MiLo’s Valentine’s Interview
Louis and Michael, well-dressed but looking a little red in the face, enter the room. They have been together for several years at the time of this interview. Michael helps Louis on the high stool chair, and Louis helps him back. They flash the interviewer a weird smile.
Zelda: So, a year and a half after your story came out, here we are. You still have some fans.
Louis: Thanks to him!
M: I’m listening.
L: I’m…
M: You’re listening too.
L: I’m listening.
L: The category.
Z: No.
L: That’s only because you made a scene and everybody was staring! Not because—
M: *snorts inelegantly* “I made a scene”. You made a scene. *He laughs.*
Z: Why are you laughing?
M: He’s something, isn’t he? Michael leans in and kisses a reluctant Louis on the cheek, then traces his thumb along his jawline.
L: I’m innocent.
Louis seems confused for a second. The interviewer sighs loud enough to be heard by Eric and Zak who are currently on holiday in Morocco. Louis snaps out of it and points a finger at Michael.
M: *makes that face*
M: *shaking his head.* It’s not—
L: *looking excited* And it’s not just the Valentine’s schemes! There are also the birthday schemes *counts on his fingers*, Christmas schemes, Hanukkah schemes—neither of us is Jewish by the way—oh, and my favourite, the Sunday church schemes!
M: *nodding and grinning* Eric taught me that one.
Z: Wh—
L: Don’t ask! *tosses back his hair dramatically* It’s all a ploy to get me to take off my clothes.
Z: *At Michael* Do you admit it?
M: *appearing serious, but lightly swaying on his seat* I do.
M: Not my fault. Have you seen him?
Louis turns red and tries to hide his face behind his hands. Michael tries to remove his hands, and when he realises he can’t, starts kissing Louis’s neck. Louis mutters something rude in French, but he removes his hands. They start smooching while the interviewer checks her emails.
Z: This is getting nowhere. How’s Eugénie?
L: *pushing Michael away* Oh! She’s fine.
Z: And David?
M: *chuckling* He has a girlfriend. Louis doesn’t like her.
L: I don’t like anyone, so… *he crosses his arms over his chest*
M: *almost falling from his seat* He doesn’t like anyone but me.
L: Oh! *beams*
M: Which is all that matters.
L: Wait—
M: It’s not true by the way, he does like people!
L: *reaching out and wrapping his arm around Michael’s neck* Yeah. You’re spreading… you’re spreading…
M: Lies?
L: Yeah, lies!
Z: *sighing again* Ladies, Gentlemen, Enbies, these two fools are obviously drunk.
M: I’m not drunk.
L: *loudly* He LURED me into this by pretending it was something else.
M: Yep! Yes, I did.
L: *struggling* It was not in fact, a normal lunch. It was a Valentine lunch through and through. With Champagne, and—what was it?”
M: Lobster. *laughs stupidly*
Louis attempts to get up but falls back heavily onto his seat.
M: *loudly* Who says romance is dead!
Z: *checking Twitter as Michael gets up, grabs Louis and kisses him* Who says romance is dead indeed…
Michael mutters something else in Louis’s ear. Finally, they return to their seats.
Z: *turns off phone* Anyway… Did it work?
L: *frowning* Did what work?
M: Yes! *he giggles* Yes, it did.
L: Did what work?
… silence.
Louis finally understands and shrugs before his lip curls up.
L: It worked! It always works!
M: I took a day off for this.
Z: Just for this?
M: Just for this.
Z: *pursing her lips* So, that’s it. Your ideal Valentine date.